Several years ago, the District government partnered with developers to plan a redevelopment called City Vista. Let's get this out of the way...to my lefty urban planning/studies friends: yes, I joined "the man" and moved into one of those big modern redevelopments where the city took over a few city blocks in a previously less-than-hospitable neighborhood, only to have it taken over by a bunch of bougie Beltway professionals. Ok. There.
As proper gay men, we didn't find out about this development through the paper...or word of mouth...or signage. No...we found out about it through our gym. Yes, this development was designed for the modern gay man. Directly below us lies the "Urban Lifestyle Safeway." What makes it different from any other Safeway? Well...besides the sleeker lighting and shelving, let's cut to the chase: it has a roasted nut bar. Now, even I have trouble understanding why I would need a roasted nut bar. They offer something in the realm of 25 varieties of fresh roasted nuts every day. Strangely, the only thing that isn't upgraded about the Urban Lifestyle Safeway is the music: yes, there's a lot of strange covers of Celine Dion and Toni Braxton. (sidebar: did you hear that Muzak, Inc filed for bankruptcy?! Gasp! What are retailers going to do?)
As if being able to take the elevator down to my fab grocery store isn't enough...how about the 5th Street Hardware Store....also in the building. Now, I was excited about having a hardware store, but then I went inside and realized: it's a lot like Koontz Hardware back in WeHo. For Expat readers back home, we all know that Koontz is one of West Hollywood's favorite businesses. Besides having tons of knowledgeable staff...the real reason we love it is because we can buy candles along with copper pipe. Brilliant. 5th Street isn't quite as good, but I love it...and there are homo couples galore.
The real crown jewel, however, is having a branch of our gym, Results, in the building. Oh, mercy! Mike and I used to live only a block from our gym back in WeHo and we got really used to it. When we were living under the oppressive lesbians, we were only a 10 minute walk to the gym...but trust me...it prevented us from going. Now, it's quick and easy once again.
So the development has absolutely everything you could need, which is wonderful. As I mentioned before, we basically sit right on the edge of redeveloped downtown DC. Our immediate area is relatively nice and safe, but go a few streets to far east...and...well...you'll wonder if Marion Barry is still mayor!
But you know what makes living on the edge of the ghetto ok? Floor-to-ceiling windows! Yes, we have a fabulous unit on the 7th floor with an expansive view of Northeast. Even Nemo like it. The hobos roaming around the park below are always of keen interest to a feline.
All in all, Mike and I are incredibly happy at our new residence (which has 2 footh thick concrete ceilings!). We, here at the Expat, did take a lesson from California, however--always look on the sunny side:
- That boarded up building across the street isn't blighted: it's historic!
- The bums in the park aren't signs of the poor economy: they're neighborhood custodians!
- The sirens coming from the MPD across the street are...well...ok...they're sirens.
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