Mega Prom: the Inauguration

Reporting from the banks of the Mighty Potomac...the Expat is back!

Lame is the name of my game.  I knew I hadn't updated this poor blog in a while, but didn't realize it was back in SEPTEMBER.  Please accept my apologies.  If you're wondering...yes...keeping the expat up-to-date is a new year's resolution.

Anyway...a few things have happened around here since September.  We've sort of plunged into economic crisis, bailout is the new "black" and we have this new president named Obama.  I was, indeed, down with all the other drunks at 2 a.m. on election night in front of the White House chanting at Bush, which was an amazing experience to say the least.

But that's all pretext...let's talk RED CARPET.  As I round out my 6 month anniversary living in the District, I was so happy to see award season kick into high gear with the Golden Globes last night!  Everyone looked fabulous on the red carpet at the Beverly Hilton.  It transported me back to my lazy days in La La land, especially the weather.  Lord knows why I decided to check the weather out there on my phone, only to see that it's going to be sunny, clear and mid-70s all week.  Don't even THINK of calling me to gloat.  It took me 10 minutes just to bundle up before I walked out the door today!

So, we have our own little red carpet buzz going on around the Beltway...the inauguration.  Oh yes...it's like ONE GIGANTIC PROM!  I seriously have not seen people get more stressed out about one night since prom.  Are these shoes sophisticated enough?  Is red too flashy?  Do you think I'll fit into the gown I wore to the Clinton balls?  Basically, we all know that Washington, DC is really just Hollywood for dorky people.  Most of the time, they don't have to worry about being fashionable, trendy or even good looking.  But especially with Obama's inauguration comes a billion balls.

Why so many balls, some Expat readers may be asking themselves?  Well, there are a hell of a lot of lobbyists in this town...and what better way to party than to throw a prom in the name of your cause?  You name it...and there's an inauguration ball for it.  The gays have a big ball (which I couldn't afford...damn!), the environmentalists have a ball (and apparently it's hard for them to where something other than hiking boots with their tuxes), and yes....the Indians have a ball!  I'll be shakin' it on the dancefloor with all the other Natives in the beltway.  And what does the California State Society have?  An inaugural lunch and fashion show.  Something tells me there weren't a lot of Bay Area people on the organizing committee for that one.

So, as I deal with women fretting over their gowns, shoes, dates and dresses for the next week, I leave you with some things to consider.  The Obamas are planning to attend at least 10 balls on inauguration night.  Whew!  That means...there will definitely be red carpet and paparazzi...Beltway style. 

So, who's going to host the Red Carpet pre-show?  God knows Ryan Seacrest wouldn't recognize most of them...so I'm thinking Phil McLaughlin.  But please, not Tucker Carlson!

What network is going to cover it?  Maybe this is a new opp for C-Span to pick up a younger audience.  I'm thinking it should change it's name to C! and acquire rights to overplay a Beyonce song when they cut to commercial breaks.

What's the swag tent going to have in it?  Perhaps jewel encrusted pens from Pharma (the drug company lobby) enscribed with the names of the hottest prescription drugs.  And, I'm expecting each of the 50 state lobbies are going to have a designer handbag.  Idaho will have a bejeweled potato handbag.  California could have several depending on what part you're from.  Orange County could have a bejeweled orange with a clasp top.  L.A. could have a movie reel canister.  And, Nor Cal...well...I'm sure they'll think of something.

And the big one: what is Michelle Obama going to wear?!  Lord knows, this woman has been quite the talk of the fashion world (and one of the only figures keeping J. Crew's bottom line alive).  So, after seeing that "interesting" choice of gown on election night, inquiring minds are dying to know what our incoming First Lady is going to flaunt around town.  Stay tuned...