Hipsters vs. Tools

 Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source - Share This

tool     Audio Help   [tool] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation,

–noun

1.	an implement, esp. one held in the hand, as a hammer, saw, or file, for performing or facilitating mechanical operations.

2.	any instrument of manual operation.

3.	the cutting or machining part of a lathe, planer, drill, or similar machine.

4.	the machine itself; a machine tool.

5.	anything used as a means of accomplishing a task or purpose: Education is a tool for success.

6.	a person manipulated by another for the latter's own ends; cat's-paw.

7.	the design or ornament impressed upon the cover of a book.

8.	Underworld Slang. a. a pistol or gun. b. a pickpocket.

Oh...and this is just precious:

American Heritage Dictionary - Cite This Source - Share This

hip·ster     Audio Help   (hĭp'stər)  Pronunciation Key   n.   Slang  One who is exceptionally aware of or interested in the latest trends and tastes, especially a devotee of modern jazz.

So...why I still look through the magazine, Details, I don't know.  I think I'm still mourning the loss of the far more metrosex magazine, Cargo, and turn the pages hoping for similar content...but I digress. 

Recently, they featured a several page spread called the "LA Style Crisis."

http://men.style.com/details/blogs/thegadabout/2008/07/the-la-style-cr.html 

Now, never in a MILLION years did I think I would actually MISS the usual set of hipsters who roam freely in the wilds of the Sunset Strip in WeHo.  Yea...you know who I'm talking about.  It's that Hollywood guy who:

- buys the vintage prada t-shirts (and by vintage...I mean 1988) from Crossroads on Santa Monica Blvd.

- eats at the Griddle Cafe every weekend with his other disaffected buddies

- "plays" guitar (and by play, I mean...gives a REALLY bad name to indie rock)

- takes pictures of himself looking dower to upload to facebook while waiting for his food at the Griddle Cafe

- has a trust fund (oh yea...you know most of them do)

Anyway, they have an entire spread of THAT guy in this article in Details.  The strange part is that now that I'm away, I miss hipsters.  Why?!  I miss their heinous fashions.  I miss their purposely greasy hair.  I even miss those goddam ed hardy bejeweled hats!  They have a place in Hollywood.  When I lived in WeHo, I did everything I could to avoid their natural habitat, but now it just doesn't feel the same.  As I thumbed through looking at the pictures, I couldn't help but notice all the little West Hollywood street signs for Sunset Blvd. behind them  There's something wonderfully simple about how WeHo deals with its hipsters.  They're too "over" the gay scene to even walk down Santa Monica Blvd and so obsessed with being perpetually ironic that they can only really keep to themselves.  All the while, the residents of WeHo reap the benefits of their contributions to the tax base.  Really, its a win-win.

Hipster natural habitat.  Best time to spot this urban creature: weekends on the sidewalk after 11 a.m.

While I was looking at our hipsters in Hollywood, it got me thinking about how every city has its own version of this urban creature.  Here in the District: tools.  Tools here in DC are, most certainly, a lot of the young staffers and interns on capitol hill who run into you, drop every name they gathered that day in their card rolodex, and ask tedious resume-driven questions of you until they can fit you into their mental hierarchy...all the while being completely unaware of how socially overbearing they are (and the fact that there was a reason JCrew had to put that particularly colored tie on sale).   And the worst part is that most of them have a smug sensibility that, for the right person, is SOOOO ready to take advantage of.  Yea.  Total tools.

So the real question is: will I hate DC's tools just as much as Hollywood's hipsters?  Or, has the move and reflection on hipsterness and toolness changed my outlook and made me more tolerant?

Nahhhhh.....